I got me a brand new guitar 
with six sweet strings to play
my hair is long and my nose is clean 
but I pick it anyway
I got me an amplifier,
it's got reverb, chorus and fuzz
it's even got a vibrator 
man you should see what that thing does

I got me a golden capo 
and plectrums by the score
I've practised all the things I'll say 
when the crowd screams out for more
I got me a van with a bed in the back 
and mirrors on the wall
I got medallions on my hairy chest 
and tattoos on my tool

CHORUS
but I still got a problem 
and it's one that's bigger than big
I got everything I could ever want except.....
I got no gig

I've written songs by the hundred
poems by the ton
I once wrote a song while I was making love
man that was fun
I play guitar like you've never heard 
just watch these fingers pick
and every morning just for luck 
I rub them on my .......good luck charm

I got me some of them groupies 
you know the kind I mean
man it makes your eyes water 
when they tell you where they've been
I must admit it used to bother me 
cause I didn't have too much in my pants
but I soon solved that problem 
when I had my silicone implant

©  NEMO JAMES. All Rights Reserved
Words & Music By Nemo James